It’s gonna be craaaaaazyyyy!

During math, we were talking about making two sides of an expression equal and we using the example of how two weights on a sides of a scale need to be equal to be balanced.
Hendric (6): You mean like our weights. You and I, our weights are soooo not even close to equal.
During history, we were talking about Europeans (pronounced Europins by Hendric) coming to America during the time of exploration…
Hendric: Those Europins are dead now, right? Because I don’t want any of those Europins in my America! Go make your own America, Europins!
Talking about when I was born…
Hendric: Was that like 1949?
Me: Uh no.  I wasn’t even alive in 1949.
Hendric: Well what was 30 years before 2015?
Me: I was born in 1985.
Hendric: Wooooah. They don’t even make years like that anymore.
Doing a chemistry experiment to make slime…
Hendric: Um, I can ASSURE you Mama that this is not the recipe for slime that we used in preschool.
Hendric:  I know a great way to abbreviate when I need to say, ‘lick my finger.’  I will just say LMF so I can say it faster.
Hendric: Mama, did you know that milk can grow hair? I spilled some over there other day and it’s starting to grow hair.
Gibson (2): I’m going to throw an Easter egg at you
Hendric: That was dark, son.
Gibson got an ear infection and we were in the store trying to find some drops to numb his pain.
Hendric:  Mama, I think we need this for Gibson.  I don’t know what it is but I think it will really help him.  What is an (reading from the box) enema anyway?  Look how calm this guy is in the picture on the box!  We would just have to lay Gibson down like this:
Screen Shot 2015-05-06 at 3.59.06 PM
and then everything would be okay!  He will love it.
I think not.
Me: Langley stop eating food off the floor.
Hendric: It’s like she’s learning how to find bugs in the forest like a homeless person. It’s training for her.
When discussing if we could leave Langley in her outfit when we go to Sam’s club after she got spaghetti sauce on the snaps of her onesie…
Hendric: Well, how do you feel about crotch sauce?
Gibson: Mama, I’m gonna go toot on the potty and it’s gonna be craaaaaazyyyy!
This one I posted on Facebook, but it was too good not to share again.
I knew Uptown Funk was going to be a problem but the kids and I have such fun dance parties to it that I figured I would let it slide.

Until today.

Gibson, who is two, doesn’t exactly have great diction. And he really likes to change the words of songs. So he decided that during his brother’s soccer practice he would continually yell, “uptown f*** your face!”

Obviously a proud parenting moment.

She’s a beaut, Clark.


Today Gibson (2) has told me: He does not want to go to Target, he does not want to go to Chipotle, and he does not want to eat lunch.  He has told me, however, that today he wants to ride a bear and shoot it.



Driving in our old neighborhood, we happened to pass our old house.

Hendric (5): Wow.  She’s a beauty.



Hendric:  I know you’re getting sad about Langley turning one, but you don’t have to worry because she’s still going to be cute even when she’s one.

Me:  Bud, I don’t get sad because I think she’s not going to be cute anymore! It always just makes me think of how fast you guys are growing up.  I’m proud of all the things you guys can do as you get bigger, but it make me remember that someday you guys are going to grow up and move away.

Hendric: Yeah, sometimes I start to think about being grown up and moving away and then I just think, “Nope.  Not gonna do that.”  So you don’t have to worry.



Me:  Gibson, can you not kick the table?

Gibson:  I.  am gonna.  cwush you.  to desss.  No mo talkin.



We dropped off a breast pump to a friend.

Hendric:  Gibson, let me tell you about a breast pump.  You know how mommy feeds Langley?  She feeds her with her breasts.  The breast pump squeezes out the milk and then she puts it in a bottle and if she’s not there, someone else can feed Langley with breast milk in a bottle.

Gibson:  (pause, pause) Nope.



Gibson eating breakfast…

Gibson: Can I do it with my knees?

Me: Do what?

Gibson: This. (shows me nothing)

Me: Do what?

Gibson: These knees.

Me: I know your knees.  What do you want to do with them?

Gibson:  This. (still showing me nothing)

Me:  Are you wanting to sit on your knees?

Gibson:  No, like a snake.

Well that clears it up.


My classy boy. Pajamas, power ranger shirt covered in yogurt, monster hat.